FAQ

What is The Quote Whore?

The Quote Whore is a blog with no pretense of neutrality. I'm here to say great, glowing things about stuff that I like, and as it turns out I like pretty much anything that anyone is willing to pay me to say I like.

What kinds of things will you endorse?

I have no limits so long as what you want me to endorse is legal, moral, and not porn. You want me to say I love your book, your movie, your product? No problem -- just show me the money. You want to hear praise for your team, your home town, your show, your boss, your writing, or you personally? Not a problem. Want to hear how gorgeous you are? How great your girlfriend is? How much your poetry doesn't suck? I'm ready, willing, and available.

Will you ever knowingly tell an untruth in your posts?

Sure! In fact, if you don't tell me enough about what I'm endorsing, I might just have to make stuff up, and that's fine with me.

What does it cost to hire The Quote Whore?

One paragraph on this blog will run you $15. Two is $25. You want me to go to town on the subject? $100 gets you something of significant length, and I'll even post a photo or piece of art you send me to go with it, if you like.

How long is a paragraph? That's up to me, but I'll try and be fair.

And if you're really sophisticated with the whole online advertising thing, I'll gladly accept call-to-action money, too.

How do you sign up?

To buy an endorsement, click on the appropriate "Hire the Whore" link in the right-hand column (to pay with PayPal) or drop me a note using the contact link if you have pre-purchase questions or want to make custom arrangements.

Will I link to your Web site?

Sure! $15 -- I'll include the link in a glowing paragraph about your site. But if you ask for an endorsement and don't ask for a link to a Web site, you may not get one (no freebies!), so be specific about what you want promoted.

Will I post text you send me?

Well, yes and no. I do have a certain amount of integrity. Sort of. Okay, so I don't have any integrity at all. I still want this blog to have a consistent feel to it. For that reason, you can send me text but I might rewrite it (maybe even significantly) to fit the site's style and to make sure it fits within the length you paid for.

Any limits on what kind of photo or art you'll post?

So long as it's not pornographic, disgusting, or otherwise objectionable -- and you have the rights to the image -- I'll post it.

How do you know what to write about my item?

It all comes down to what you tell me when you make your purchase. You can e-mail me details if you like, or even send me a sample through the mail (e-mail me for an address) if you want me to be accurate. Otherwise, I'll just say wonderful stuff and accuracy be damned!

Are the posts on The Quote Whore logically consistent?

Nope! Every post is at the purchaser's pleasure, and I'll be whoever they want me to be for that post. In fact, I don't even feel compelled to be consistent about myself. Need a college-age computer geek to rave about your new album? I'm your man! Want to hear a married guy in a corporate suit's glowing report on your kung-fu blog? That's me! I'll probably keep my gender the same (whew!), but after that' it's all for sale.

Do you make sure not to endorse competitors?

If I endorse Coke in one post, will I avoid endorsing Pepsi in another post? Nope! You're not purchasing my loyalty, only my words.

What is The Quote Whore going to write about during those times when nobody is shelling out money?

I'll either write about nothing, or I'll just pick something to write about. If I'm writing about something and not being paid for it, how will you know? You won't -- isn't that beautiful?